Prior to getting married, my husband and I participated in some pretty extensive marriage counseling at our church. I took many valuable lessons away from that experience. Among those lessons, one stands out.
We had been attending for months. I had always noticed that our well-dressed minister never had matching socks. Never. I finally built up enough courage to ask one day. He said, “my socks haven’t matched in 30 years. There are way too many important things happening in the world to spend time and energy matching socks.”
Wow. Have there ever been truer words? Almost ten years later, those words are still so poignant to me. I thrive in consistency. I love the predictable. When things all line up…..it makes my insides sing. But then there is life……My life.
I really want to be the mom whose children match. I’ve always wanted to be the mom that threw cool birthday parties for them. I want my children’s hair to always be fixed. But I am failing miserably at all of these things. There are times when you (mostly I) are speaking to the retired minister who lives next door in the yard and your (mostly my) child yells, “that was a helluva throw!” Or those times when the boys black the baby girl’s eye playing swords, or when one of your children thinks it’s way too cool to pee on the other when he isn’t looking. Those are the times as a mom I crave the normal. I long to be a family where things make sense, and we function like “normal” human beings.
But then there are those other times. Those times when your family is standing in Old Navy and Run DMC’s, It’s Tricky comes on in the store. The two year old starts dancing. What do you do? Do you move her out of the center of the aisle so people can pass? Do you let her dance? Do you join her?
Do you prioritize matching the socks? Or do you just live? On Sunday, all five of us had a full out dance party inside of Old Navy. She started. And we ALL followed. (Seriously, who doesn’t want to dance when they hear that song?) Some people smiled as they passed. Some looked annoyed because we were blocking a huge portion of the aisle. The rule-follower inside of me wanted to move her to the side, so no one was put out by her spirit. But Jim’s words have stayed in my heart. “Way too many important things in the world.” So we danced. We all danced until we were out of breath. Completely.
Today like many days, I wore one yellow sock and one purple sock. No one knew that but me. Truth be told, more times than not my underwear are inside out. Today I smiled thinking of my minister and his profound impact on my marriage and who we became. I am so very thankful he didn’t spend his time matching socks but rather blessing us with his genuine love and presence. I don’t pretend to be super awesome like Jim because I have mismatched socks. But I try to remember (and often fail) to be present for life.
There are nights we miss homework. We don’t do one single bit. Those are the nights when my teacher self feels guilty and inadequate. But I try really hard to find a balance. Sometimes we have to feed our souls and our spirits.
Lord, please give me the courage to dance in stores and live in the moment. Lord, please please allow me to serve you above the pressures and rules of our world. Lord, pretty please allow me to be present enough to be grateful for the life You have given me.
Shalom. ❤️